Why am I so Angry?

That is a question that is painful to not only answer but hurtful to even try and answer. As they say in the gym, however, "No pain, no gain."

Right off the top of my head, over 11 years ago, I sat at my keyboard shortly after my 40th birthday and I contemplated. I said to myself, that many thoughts have passed through my bipolar mind over all these years and some of the some would excite, inspire and otherwise move many around the world. I was now about half way through my life. I vowed to spend the second half recording some of those provocative ideas.

I thought long and hard as to how I was going to share my mind with the world. Poetry? Maybe. I'd dabbled in that since as long as I could remember. I needed something though that many people would read and poetry just didn't seem to fit the bill. A journal or diary might do the trick but then suddenly it came to me. It was obvious really. I concluded that I would now commence on a bestselling novel.

So there I sat, 40-years-old and change, a man who had written plenty but had published nothing and was actually nutty enough to think I really could only write something publishable but a book that a lot of people would buy.

With no plot, no outline or any other plan, I started writing. Actually, there were two aspects of this story that were mapped out. The narrative was going to have bloody unique violence and detailed descriptions of meaningful sexual encounters. That was all that was in my head when I got started. Everything else just happened as I continued to write.

Let's fast forward 11 years up till today. After 8 some-odd years off submissions, few if any of the so-called literary expert agents mostly in Manhattan have expressed even the slightest bit of interest. Yet of the 30-50 people to whom I have shown this book, every single one of them tells me they could not put it down. Some were family, some friends but most were strangers I met on the street or in book stores. Yet there is nothing.

I'm confused. I'm frustrated and yes I am damn angry. Maybe the story isn't as compelling as I think. Or is the ultimate challenge to government it poses just too hot to handle for the mainstream literary society. I am an objective reasonable man. I would not have slayed on this 11-year journey unless I thought there was really something here.

Are you interested in the biggest "Fuck you" to the assumed sovereignty over you. Email me at andyweitz3@gmail.com and I'll send you a sample.